I’m running on caffeine fumes tonight having stayed up too late the past couple of nights. Believe it or not, as busy as I’ve been I need the distraction. The past month has been a bit of a roller coaster, and while the ride has been full of mostly thrills, it’s only natural that what goes up must come down.
For my Thanksgiving break I was due to head out of town to spend the holidays with my sister and her family. I was three days away from leaving when my baby bunny, Pancakes, started acting up. I noticed he hadn’t been drinking as much water for some reason. By the next day when I took him to the vet, he had also refrained from eating a great deal. I learned in the small square room that Panny had pneumonia, but was expected to make a full recovery upon starting his treatment.
After getting a breathing treatment, the vet sent us home where I gave Pancakes his medicine and made him comfortable with a soft towel and anything else he might need. Because I didn’t leave his side, I remain confused and distressed as to what went wrong in the coming hours. By a few minutes after eleven that night, Pancakes had died in my arms after suffering what appeared to be a heart attack. To say its been awful for me would be a sugar coating things. My animals are my kids, and I love them fiercely. As I continue to struggle with the loss of Panny, it does get a little easier as time helps my heart heal, though I am far from recovered from his absence.
Seeing my sister and nephews only a matter of hours later helped me a lot. I’m not sure what I will do if I ever have children of my own, because I cannot possibly imagine loving any other little human beings more than I love those two boys. They don’t need to do more than smile to make my heart melt, and when they look up at me with the wonder only a child can have, anything troubling me seems to disappear into thin air. It was so wonderful and such a blessing to have the opportunity to spend quality time with my sister and her family over Thanksgiving. It was a very special trip as I will not be able to see or talk to my sister quite as regularly for a period of time due to her work obligations, and it was important to me that I had that time with her.
All things considered, it only makes sense in my mind that the year is coming to an end. Final exams are only a week away, and things are moving quickly. I finally finished making my holiday cards that I started back in October, and boy is it a good thing I started when I did! My internationals have been posted, and now I am down to my US friends and family. By the time I get those mailed out, it will be nearly time to pack my suitcase all over again.
While I won’t be as lucky as last year when my entire family was able to be together for Christmas, I will be grateful for having the next best thing. I had an early Christmas celebration with my sister and her family, and I will be celebrating with the rest of my family on the actual date. Even though Christmas is the last official holiday of the year, I won’t be putting away my decorations just yet. I will be having a milestone birthday a couple of days after the new year, and am having a party to celebrate! Some people dread turning another year older, but for me, it is just one more thing to say goodbye to. The awkwardness of any quarter life crises will finally be over, and in my new age bracket I believe I will find a much better fit.
Without getting too far ahead of myself, right now I just hope to finish strong at uni, and progress step by step. The kid and I will keep doing what it is we do (me working hard, him snoring little doggie snores), and continue to adjust to life without Pancakes. Time waits for no one, so it’s important to make the most of the moments we have, live as passionately as we are meant to.
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Oh no, I feel bad, keeping you up so late! Silly time differences, I sit down to the computer in the evenings as you should be leaving and heading to bed. It’s been awesome to catch up though. I hope you get some early nights and the week doesn’t drag out for you too much. And I’m glad you’ve got Christmas and your birthday to look forward to. Here’s to the next decade, may it bring you all manner of wonderful things!